Saturday, November 19, 2005

But I ordered it on the side...

I'm a big fan of ordering things "on the side." It makes whatever you are ordering seem healthier. Dressing, on the side. Sauce, on the side...

And when deciding to partake in those not-so-healthy treats, it is much easier to justify ordering them as side dishes than full orders. I can justify ordering eggs with a pancake on the side; but just ordering pancakes, I cannot. If I get a large dish of something, I am sure to eat the whole thing, because I came from one of those "clean your plate" families. My dad was even known to some as "The Bottomless Pit," and thus I have developed portion control issues. Yes, it's true, I am totally and completely portionally impaired.

I wish restaurants would do small sides, so people such as myself can get just a taste of something sinful, and not be tempted to engorge ourselves. Then it would be perfectly acceptable to order a salad with the dressing on the side, as well as 3 fries, a spoonful of mashed potatoes, 5 mac 'n cheese macaronis, and 4 bites of chocolate cake.

I wonder if the "on the side" method works for making chores seem easier... Honey, can you please help me with a bit of dusting, and a side of toilet cleaning? Sounds better, right? Maybe even a lover will be more amenable to trying different things, if the suggestion is made as a side order. How about some hot lovin' with a side of "down there," topped off with a dollop of Cool Whip? It could work. Any other suggestions for ways to test the "on the side" method?
posted by Danielle @ 4:41 PM |


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