Go hungry, leave happy

I think I have a bit of an unhealthy obsession with the International House of Pancakes.

It's not an obsession about going there, in fact, I have only actually eaten there a handful of times; but I have started talking nonstop about how I want to go there. I mention my desire to hop to the i, at least a few times a week. And I have even been known to pout if I pass one and cannot go, like a kid with a toy shop. Lip sticking out, puppy dog eyes, the whole nine.

I think I have created an idealized version of the ihop in my head. The cute blue house-like buildings with wood paneling, in which kids eat fluffy pancakes with faces made of whipped cream and cherries for eyes and bacon mouths. And for me, a pitcher of coffee, a huge glass of OJ, and a heaping portion of eggs, with a "side of pancakes." Perfect Sunday brunch, any time.

But, this vision is missing a few key elements that can define a visit to the ihop. Specifically, the long lines that I see out the door every weekend, the screeching children who are throwing their pancake faces all over the floor, and the fact that most ihops are total dumps. But, as soon as I think of those real-life downers, or make an actual visit to the place and end up unable to "go hungry, leave happy" but rather leave feeling over-stuffed and annoyed; I am disappointed briefly, and then forget about it, and the craving returns.

How does the ihop have this power over me? I'm thinking it must be mind control. Some person in a booth with buttons labeled Danielle's cravings: "Skinny Cow," "Chocolate," "Pasta," and the blue "ihop" button, which is currently stuck in the down position.

Anyone up for some pancakes?