Thursday, October 20, 2005

The stress of poker

Last night was poker night with the buddies. We got together after work, as we often do on Wednesdays. Ordered some food. Divvied up the chips. And started to play. The difference this time, was that as I drank my beer, I felt stress begin to eat at me. I became jumpy, on edge, eyes darting, hands shaking. I dropped cards and even knocked over the new bid-raise timer.

The stress, however, was not caused by the game. It was cause by a growing urge to pee.

Why, you may be wondering, would this stress her out? The truth is, I'm scared to go to the bathroom in that apartment, because I heard that one night when I wasn't there, someone got stuck in it, and it has haunted me ever since. And I know a maintenance person has been to the apartment to fix the bathroom door since that night, but I am still not convinced. I still get flashes in my head of the potential dreaded scenario. I'm sure you know the one I'm talking about...

I am in the bathroom. I have completed the pee, flush, wash routine (hopefully with clear not pink soap), and am ready to go. I reach for the knob, and start to turn it and pull on it to open, but alas, nothing happens. That's when my heart drops, my stomach tightens, and my face flushes, all in a single moment. The walls start closing in. As I jiggle the knob, I try to bump the door a bit with my side and butt, and eventually am using the whole force of my body in an attempt to realign the lock or hinges or whatever is causing the door's evil death trap... And doing all of this as quietly as possible, so the people outside the door can't hear my struggle, because at that point I'm so mortified that the last thing I want is to have to call for help. All I want is to be on my couch at home watching Starting Over and eating a bag of Smart Pop. Unconfined. Free. At large. Why me? I ask myself, Why now? I take a deep breathe to counteract the short fast almost pant-like breaths they have become, and realize I have not tried turning the knob in a counter-clockwise direction. I do so, and that's when (if I'm lucky) I feel it, that slight click. Ahhh, beautiful realignment. At once, my heart resumes normal rhythms, the stomach knot loosens, and my face unflushes.

Hmmm... I'm thinking that I should probably skip poker next week. I don't know if I can handle the stress.
posted by Danielle @ 11:20 AM |


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