Sock Stumper

I seriously don't understand how I can have a full drawer of socks, but no matching pairs. I'm not talking about three or four lonely socks, but 16+ socks of different colors, styles, weights, and lengths. No two alike. How is that even possible? I admit to having a messy closet, and some of the missing mates may be strewn in there... but, all of them?

Some people (like Lauren the Franco-American) can pull off the two different socks look. But, I cannot. Especially because my socks are so varied. Some are striped or patterned, others are black formal socks, and there are my short sweat socks. None of which would look remotely normal with any other.

In the search for my missing socks, I stumbled upon a database of lonely socks at www.lonelysocks.co.uk, but, alas, none of them looked like mine. I also discovered a Bureau of Missing Socks at www.funbureau.com. Perhaps one of these organizations will bring about some answers to this age old mystery.

I was thinking of getting those labels that my mom used to sew on my underwear for sleep-away camp, with my name and phone number, and attaching them to each sock. But, honestly, I'm way too lazy for that, and I'm sure the missing socks are in my apartment somewhere hiding. So, I think a paging device would work best, like on cordless phones. Then I can play "hot and cold" until I reach behind my dresser drawer and pull out the lone beeping sock.

And if all else fails, I will say a prayer on Lost Sock Memorial Day, which according to www.holidayinsights.com/other/lostsockday, is celebrated on May 9th.

Now that really knocks my socks off.