The Fat Pack

Many doctors, scientists, and parents these days are concerned with the rising obesity rate in children. I, however, am concerned with the rise of obesity in New York City "wildlife."

Just today, I had to do that little dance about which way to go around someone, with a pigeon. I had to zig and zag around because he (or she) was waddling right where I needed to walk. The construction had left such a small amount of sidewalk open that it wasn't big enough for me and the plump pigeon.

Another encounter of the tubby kind, occurred last Friday night. I was walking in Washington Square Park, when two of the fattest rats I have ever seen, appeared from behind a garbage can, into the mood lighting set by the streetlamps covered with bedroom-style shades... and they started going at it. And not fighting, I'm talking about full fat rat humpage. They were getting busy conceiving future fat rats, right in front of me.

What can we do about this problem? Well, perhaps Weight Watchers could devote a new division to the paunchy pigeons and rotund rats of New York. Then, maybe they too would discover, as I have... the wisdom of the Skinny Cow.