what's in your pants

Do you ever take off your pants in a rush, and accidentally leave a sock or panties or something in them, and then when you put them on to wear again, you leave the house with a little something extra in your pants? I am not too proud to admit it... I am one such fool.

Last weekend, as I was walking into a movie theater to see the Simpson's, I felt a strange sensation on the back of my leg, just above my knee... The dreaded bump. The theater was only taking cash, so I had to walk all the way across the huge parking lot with it still in there in order to get to a bank and get cash. I couldn't even get into the theater for a minute to access the bathroom without a ticket. So I proceeded to walk, as calmly as possible, across the lot, trying not to obsess about how odd the bump must look in the back my pants. I finally arrived at the bank's ATM alcove, and decided I couldn't wait to get back to the theater's bathroom to take it out. I had to find a way to make it happen. Unfortunately, it was not budging. I tried a few shimmee shake moves, but alas, nada, so I attempted to use my other foot to work it out. It still wouldn't budge. So, as a last resort, I backed myself against the wall and shoved my hand in as stealthily as possible (which wasn't very), first up the pant leg, but it was too high, then down the back on my pants. I finally retrieved it. The culprit... a lonely black sock, which I shoved into my purse as quickly as possible.

Note to self... Despite feverish haste, make sure to throw clothes off in different directions.