Wednesday, December 21, 2005

To strikers, with love


Dear Union Transit Worker,

Are you feeling cold and tired? Are your feet developing blisters on blisters? Are you having trouble getting where you need to go?

I genuinely hope you get everything for which you are asking, but in the meanwhile, let's get New York moving again. And by New York, I mean me. Let's get me moving again.

After hours of serious brainstorming and collaboration with coworkers and loved ones, we have come up with three alternate mobility plans that would get me to work faster than the current situation, which is taking double the time that it should.

Plan one... You could "accidentally" drop the keys to one of those subway cars in my hand. Come on... I promise not to tell anyone, and I'll be extremely careful, making sure to slow down when approaching station platforms.

Plan two... This one would be a little more tricky. It would entail sneaking past the yellow Caution tape, and hotwiring one of the halted cars, and then enlisting some of those subway super-rats to help me navigate the tunnels.

Or plan three... I could try to track down one of those old-fashioned hand cars that you pump. That'd probably be faster than what's going on now, and my arms would get a really good workout!

What do you think? Or you could just put an end to this whole striking business. Your call... Please advise.

Yours truly,
posted by Danielle @ 12:11 AM |


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