Workplace etiquette

I think workplace etiquette should dictate the following...

1. Singing or humming jingles that get stuck in your head, or catchy TV show theme songs, is not only NOT cute or funny, but annoying and disruptive... especially when you are sitting within a five foot radius of another person.

I swear that I have had the Odd Couple theme song and Mr. Ed in my head for about three months straight, thanks to my desk neighbor. Seriously. He's a really nice guy, but puh-lease... Yesterday, it took me about 20 minutes to count and log-in 373 photo chromes, all because I could think of nothing else except McD's: ba-da-ba ba ba, I'm lovin' it.

But... I'm not lovin' it. Not lovin' it at all.

2. Learn to whistle in environments other than the workplace, especially when the noise coming out sounds like the ss-ss-ssssizzle from a teakettle that is getting ready to screech, because inevitably my head starts feeling like a kettle building towards a screech. And trust me, nobody wants to hear me screech.

3. The office should be a vibrate only zone. Save the unique cell phone rings for elsewhere. It is hard to sound professional on a call when Britney Spears bursts on in the background, or the Waltz that plays ten times a day when desk neighbor's high-maintenance GF calls... OR the strangest one around here, a voice saying "YOU have a call. YOU have a call."

4. If you are bored and decide to play video games, please turn off the sound. PING, THWAP, WAMM one more time... and I'll PING, THWAP, WAMM you.

5. If your nose is running, please find a tissue, or excuse yourself to the restroom to plug your sneeze hole.

6. The newest addition to the list... Please refrain from making microwavable popcorn and walking around with the bag so that the smell fills every crevice of the office. Especially when you know that the person sitting next to you is fasting because she has to go get her blood taken at the doctor's (which also means NO COFFEE). Grrrrr.

So, that's my list. I'm sure I do plenty of things that annoy as well, but lucky for me, I don't have to sit next to myself. Maybe one day I will have my own office, but for now I'll settle for a good vent-fest every once in a while. Anyone else need to vent?