the dreaded stank

The one thing that is more horrifying than walking into a smelly public bathroom, is walking into a smelly public bathroom and then having someone walk in after you.

I mean, you know they are thinking that you were the one who caused that foul stench. Deductive reasoning... A person made the bathroom stink. You are the only person in the bathroom. Therefore, you made the bathroom stink.

I, for one, can't bare the thought of anyone thinking that I could be the source. I'm someone who would not dream of doing that in a public restroom. Freaks.me.out. But the worst, is encountering such a situation in the work environment, when, say, the Editor-in-chief is the one who walks in. Uggh.

So I have decided, from here on out, that if I ever open a ladies room door and encounter a wall of stank, I will switch into fast forward mode, engage in speed peeing, so I can book it out of there, making a quick escape before anyone has the chance to enter.

And if you do see me leaving a stinky bathroom, please know I didn't do it.